2019 has been a year of searching and knowing, of brokenness and yielding, of finding and standing still on promises of God.
I remember that my first day as a volunteer at Beats and Books was almost fairytale-like. The ministry captured so much of what I had dreamed of doing. I was immediately enchanted by the vision and fell in love with the children. Then reality set in. I started to see more of the deep-rootedness of sin, the inequality that seems insurmountable, and my smallness in the bigger issues of the culture. Many months this year were spent wrestling with the challenges of the ministry as I contemplated a longer-term commitment. In the process of taking more ownership in the mission and feeling the weight of responsibility, my instinct can be to seize control and to have a critical attitude, overcome with zeal to do things correctly and with excellence. I am slowly coming to a deeper knowledge that only Jesus makes the broken whole.
Jesus reminds me that, “My ways are not your ways, neither are My thoughts your thoughts.” He thinks differently, moves differently, and my responsibility lies not in “getting it right” (how difficult it is to write that!) but in knowing the Author of the Story more intimately in order to see what He is doing. His grace is sufficient. His power is made evident in our weakness. And his work is beautiful.
May I give way for His way.
May we who follow Christ give over all that we are and all that has been given us, and be as living sacrifices to Him – yielding to whatever He wants to do in and through us.
